Footprints in the sand

15 months in Egypt ... this is how long i've been here for... The first year was good... everything was new, there were so many things to look forward to, so many places to see...

Coming back i thought it will all be the same ... but now i find myself weary, overwhelmed with emotions that i cannot control ... A preacher referred to Egypt, while preaching about Joseph, as "the land of my sufferings". he made a point out of this and more like a joke he said: "I hope Egypt is not the land of YOUR suffering!".

Well, i think it is to me now! But the good thing about it is that i am learning.... i am aware that these are all lessons to learn from and no matter how difficult it is, i am willing to learn. Egypt is shaping me ... who would have thought that this country would be the place of my "suffering"?

I am learning to be more self focused and less of others ... does this make me selfish? does this make me less ME?? Am i loosing my individuality? Does this transform me into a heartless person? I do not know ...

I am trying to learn to do things my way, to speak my mind and do what I want to do and not to please everyone around me ... just because this is what i have been doing my whole life so far...

I am learning to finally say what i like or dont like! This reminds me of a scene in "Runaway Bride"with Maggie (Julia Roberts), when she doesnt know what kind of eggs she like. All of her previous "future husbands"had different opinions regarding the way she likes eggs.... when she decides one day to cook all different kinds and taste them. So, in the end, she goes to Richard Gere and tells him that she now knows the kind of eggs she likes. She has made up her mind, she has an opinion of her own... she knows what she wants, rather than what other people want/like.

Why "footprints in the sand"as a title? Well, i was listening to this song earlier and then i found this picture that i took in Ain Sokhna .... i just like the idea behind it, that no matter how difficult life is, or my struggles are ... there will always be footprints in the sand to remind me that i am not alone!!

"I see my life

Flash across the sky
So many times have I
Been so afraid ooh
And just when I
Have thought I’ve lost my way

You give me strength to carry on
That’s when I heard you say

I promise you
I’m always there
When your heart is filled with sorrow and despair
I’ll carry you
When you need a friend
You’ll find my footprints in the sand"