Speaking the Love Language of Quality Time

Quality time is giving someone your undivided attention. I don’t mean sitting on the couch watching television. I mean sitting on the couch with the TV off, looking at each other and talking, and giving each other your undivided attention. For some people, quality time is their primary love language, and if you don’t give them quality time, they will not feel loved. Is it possible that your spouse’s primary love language is quality time?

Listen for Clues

Quality time is a powerful emotional communicator of love. One medicine does not cure all diseases. Just as one love language does not communicate emotionally to all people. If you give your spouse affirming words; If you express love by acts of service; If you touch them affectionately; and they still complain, “You don’t ever have time for me. We used to do things together. Now you are always too busy or too tired,” they are telling you that their primary love language is quality time.

The Essence of Quality Time

A central aspect of quality time is togetherness. I do not mean proximity. Togetherness has to do with focused attention. A husband who is watching sports on television while he talks to his wife is not giving her quality time, because she does not have his full attention. A husband and wife playing tennis together, if it is genuine quality time, will focus not on the game, but on the fact that they are spending time together.

Dialects of Quality Time

Like words of affirmation, the language of quality time also has many dialects. One of the most common dialects is that of quality conversation. By quality conversation, I mean sympathetic dialogue where two people are sharing their experiences, their thoughts, their feelings, and their desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context. If your spouse’s primary love languages is quality time, such dialogue is crucial to his or her emotional sense of being loved. Sit down. Ask questions, and listen.

Tips for Keeping the Love Tank Full

I want to conclude by giving you four tips on how to have a quality conversation with your spouse:

1. Maintain eye contact when your spouse is talking.

2. Don’t listen to your spouse and do something else at the same time.

3. Listen for feelings. Ask yourself, “What emotion is my spouse experiencing?”

4. Refuse to interrupt. Such interruptions indicate, “I don’t care what you are saying; listen to me.”

Such active listening will fill the love tank of the person whose primary love language is quality time.

My Jesus by Todd Agnew with lyrics

Great lyrics.. something to meditate on

Maite bought a new CD and I came across this song in the morning; I've been listening to it all day ... A few words stuck with me:

"Cause my Jesus bled and died

He spent His time with thieves and the least of these
He loved the poor and accosted the comfortable
So which one do you want to be?

Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church
The blood and dirt on His feet might stain the carpet.."

Quiz/questionnaire for Arab men

Saturday afternoon, Aspire park - beautiful day to reflect on many things and to make our own questionnaire for the men we meet in this Arab world (just to save ourselves headaches).

1. Are you married?

2. Have you been married?

3. Are you engaged?

4. Are you going through separation?

5. Do you have a secret wife (masayer)?

6. Do you have children?

7. Is this your real name?

8. What is your real age?

If you answered questions 1 - 6 with "no"you are eligible to talk to me! You have now finished Level 1!

Level 2

1. Do you have a job?

2. Is it a real job?

3. Are you aggressive?

4. Are you Tunisian?? (LOOOOOOOOOOLLLL)

Once you finish Level 2 you might be eligible to get my number insh'allah!

Update on situation in Egypt

This message comes from pastor Sameh Hanna (whom I've met a year ago - his daughter attends the school I taught at). I was glad to find out my friends are safe; glad to hear that Ehab and his family is ok (his son, David was in my class last year). It is crazy how these things happen and the place I called "home" for 2 years is now filled with rage and fire! I am thinking of all of my friends who are still there and lifting them up in prayer!

Dear family, friends and supporters,

From the bottom of my heart I thank you for all your messages letting me know how concerned you are for the people and situation in Egypt. Your prayers are heard by our Lord Jesus Christ who sits on the throne interceding for us to THE one and only true and mighty God. His will be done.

As I mentioned before, the jails were opened last Friday and over 10,000 criminals were released onto the streets and have been looting, attacking and destroying . It is the opinion of many that thugs were also sent out, in addition to the released criminals, from the secret police to kill, steal and destroy. This is the same time the police completely withdrew.

Until today the roads have been open in Cairo, but with the call for one million to come out into the streets today, all roads and freeways have been closed. Trains have also been stopped. The police are going back on the job today, trying to restore some order. Some foods like bread and milk are very difficult to find, and the people are buying up all the rice and beans, pasta and even meat, which is so expensive. They buy this with the assumption that they will be able to cook it, not thinking the power and gas could be turned off in days to come. In contrast, the ready to eat foods like peanut butter, jam, tuna are still on the shelves with very few takers. Americans are always trying to find peanut butter in Egypt, but now that they are being evacuated, there is plenty for the Egyptians, who do not want it!

I am on the phone daily with our dear friends, getting updates and trying to figure out how to take care of the families we serve. Most of our leaders in Upper Egypt are women, and it is too dangerous for them to be out on the streets traveling from one village to another taking food. Maged, our dear friend and servant in Upper Egypt, is buying food for ALL our families in ALL our villages, then taking it to our church in each village, where the elders of the church are hand delivering it to each family. By tomorrow our Upper Egypt families will all have food. Our seniors are the most needy, with no familly to take care of them. We are still working on how to get food to all our families in the Cairo area.

One of the main problems is that the Muslim fanatics are showing up in a big way, trying to take the lead in the demonstrations. When Mobarak steps down from the presidency the climate will be right for the fanatics to take over. Please, please pray this will not come to fruition.

Men are still working to protect their homes from looters, and most apartment buildings now have organized shifts of homeowners who take turns protecting theirs.

Our dear friend and coworker Ehab was able to get home to his family. He is working hard to keep Healing Grace moving forward and is sensitive to all our families needs. One story of interest happened today. Ehab was trying to get downtown to the Kasr church, which is located one street over from the large demonstrations in Tahrir Square. He knew as an Egyptian the authorities would not allow him to pass. So, he took our friend Sami,along with his new American wife Amy (standing in the middle between Ehab and Sami), as a decoy. Since they had an American with them, they were allowed to pass all barricades! He was able to do some much needed work at the church.

As many of you are praying for the future of Egypt, please consider the following prayer requests and pray as the Holy Spirit leads you.

Necessary food and medical supplies for the people
A quick end to this protest and the economic crisis accumulating.
Peace and security to return to the streets of Egypt.
A restraining of the Muslim Brotherhood and other political parties who have evil hidden agendas For the church to have a prophetic voice at this time. For wisdom and revelation from the Father to speak life and revealed truth to t he church and the nation.
The church to move propheticlly and know how to handle this difficult time with confidence and boldness.
That Egyptians will not be taken lightly or mistreated any longer.
That President Mubarak will leave with dignity and none of his family will be harmed.
A peaceful transition of power.

A Strong Woman Versus A Woman Of Strength

A Strong Woman Versus A Woman Of Strength

A strong woman works out every day
to keep her body in shape
but a woman of strength looks deep inside
to keep her soul in shape

A strong woman isn't afraid
of anything
but a woman of strength shows courage
in the midst of her fear

A strong woman won't let anyone
get the best of her
but a woman of strength gives the best
of her to everyone

A strong woman makes mistakes
and avoids the same in the future
but a woman of strength realizes life's mistakes
can also be blessings and capitalizes on them

A strong woman walks
sure footedly
but a woman of strength knows
when to ask for help

A strong woman wears the look
of confidence on her face
but a woman of strength
wears grace

A strong woman has faith
that she is strong enough for the journey
but a woman of strength has faith
that it is in the journey that she will become strong

Waves...

I've never been a beach fan - there's nothing more boring to me than sitting on the beach doing nothing, especially that I am not that great of a swimmer and besides that, I prefer swimming in a swimming pool rather than the sea or ocean; however, I found myself going to Bali for Christmas where people go to be on the beach, to surf, to do all these water activities.

I ended up enjoying sitting on the beach and reading eventually and I went in the water a few times just to play in the waves. Many surfers go to Bali, as it has good waves therefore it is a great place for surfing. I don't surf, I tried diving once, I snorkel a bit and that's about it.

I was in the water just waiting for the waves to come, so I can let myself carried away, my friend suggested I just dive under when the wave comes; I thought to myself: "there's no way I am doing that!! This is too scary for me!" She then said: if you dive under it, you won't even feel it, it is so calm and peaceful down! I am perfectly happy for the wave that comes and sweeps me off my feet, lifts me up and for a second I get this rush of adrenaline mixed with fear that I am not touching the bottom of the ocean and I could drown; then the second one comes (there's always 2 waves) and hits me in the face as I am still dizzy from the previous one, wiping my face and making sure the salty water doesn't get in my eyes; by the second wave I've lost all enjoyment and I freak out... no rush of adrenaline, no excitement .... I am just worried I could drown!

It took me a good half an hour to get the courage to go under and when I did, it felt peaceful... you couldn't see the rushing wave, you couldn't hear it breaking, no salty water in my eyes, no fear of dying, and actually still touching the ground! That is much better!!! I need to be touching the ground!

I couldn't stop thinking how often when life throws waves at me I just decide to stand there and confront it, and get hit in the face or worse get hit in the back when you don't expect it to come, when it would be so easy to dive, to anchor myself in God, to hide myself under and then let the wave go above me. Making a big deal of the life's waves has become a second job in a way - and when I look at it the wave only lasts for a few seconds .Why do I let those few seconds affect my whole day, week, month, year??